Who's Their Daddy?!

Today I tried to run a few simple errands, and today the boys acted like a couple of fools.  So here I am, writing about it with the hopes that finding the humor (buried deep down in it) will make me feel better. 

Doesn't everyone do that? :)

On the agenda was Lowe's, Sam's, the post office box, and a shoe store. 

No biggie, right? 

They were all quick stops, and one even included "sanples" (samples).  Yep, I try to time my visits to Sam's during prime sample time.  Luke can sniff out those little ladies in hairnets and their sample tables from aisles away.  But today even the little ladies couldn't keep them occupied.  The boys hit each other, attempted to grab things off the shelves, and screeched some horrible screeches.  I had to provide extra samples by opening darn near everything we were purchasing.  They snacked on lunch meat, Frito's, and grape tomatoes.  I later found out that Zach was biting into the tomatoes, sucking the juices out, and then dropping them on the floor.  Nice.  I had to retrace our steps to pick up his tomato outards (you know, the opposite of innards).  Because I have all the time in the world to do that, you know.

As we were leaving, a woman stopped to comment on how cute they were (clearly she didn't see their little horns poking through).  She asked if they were "my little helpers". 

Yeah, if you consider they were helping me to lose my marbles! 

I think she sensed my frustration and said something like, "Enjoy them while you can.  It goes by fast." 

I wanted to answer, "Why don't you enjoy them." or "Not fast enough." 

But I didn't.

Next we went to the UPS store where I ran in to check the PO box.  It literally takes me eight seconds and I'm about ten feet from the car, so I leave them strapped in with the doors locked.  I know you're not technically  supposed to this, but whatever.  Don't judge me.  In the 15 seconds I was gone, Luke started screaming,

"HELP!  HELP!  We're trapped!  We're in JAIL!  HEEEEEEELP!"

 ...at the top of his lungs. 

Over and over again.

And of course Zach chimed in with him. 

And of course there were people walking by to witness it all. 

Fun times!

And last, but soooo not least, we popped into Famous Footwear to return a pair of shoes. 

This should have been simple. 

In and out. 

No problemo.

Nope. 

It started out innocently... 

Zach said to the cashier, "Hi Man!". 

That was pretty cute, right?

Then Luke said, "Hi Daddy!".

 

TO THE CASHIER!!! 

Over and over again. 

Louder and louder. 

Only changing it up with, "Hi Dad!" and "We love you, Dad!".

Then Zach started.

It was really loud.

Did I mention that it was over and over again? 

And that any attempt on my part to make them stop caused them to get louder.

And did I also mention that the cashier was about 18 and African American?

I thought about trying to convince the poor guy that they were indeed his children. 

Surprise! 

But figured he probably wouldn't believe the blue-eyed blondies were his.  Not to mention I could practically be his mom rather than his one-night stand.  Make that a two-night stand, two years apart.  What are the odds?

Okay, I feel better. 

Sure, I am way behind on all the things I'm supposed to blog about.  Like Zach's birthday, Ashley's wedding, and Luke's preschool graduation.  But if you recall, I have ADHD or ADD.  What's the difference anyway?  I'll have to go Google it. 

See?

So until I can get my act together to write those, I'll end with some current pictures...

Zach helping Daddy water the plants...

Luke's graduation day...

I'm pretty sure he was supposed to be acting out a skit with his classmates, but instead made silly faces at me.  Typical!

Zach in his Home Depot uniform...

If only I could get a discount. :)

We've been on a smoothie kick.  Don't you prefer your smoothies in the nude?...

On this day I snuck in some spinach.  I thought I was pretty clever.  Until about halfway through when the boys started making faces like this...

...and worse. 

Busted!!!

The dessert I made for my friend Dina's 25th (wink,wink) birthday party.  A couple people asked me for the recipe.  Here it is:  Layered Berry Trifle

I also made a couple mini ones for my mini-me's and their dad as bribery thanks for letting me go to the party...

With Teddy Grahams for the little guys and without blueberries for Luke.

Zach's first day of school...

We call it school, but really it's the Mother's Day Out program at the Y. 

He'll start at Luke's preschool in the fall.

And of course there's been tons of this...

Which almost always leads to this...

Snacking poolside.

And our little guy turned 2!!!  Can you believe it?

The last-minute lion cupcakes we cranked out right before the occasion...

Not my best work, but Zach seemed pretty pleased.

Happy Summer!

xo,

Jess